So, here I am, it's March 4th and I only know this because we always pay rent 3 days late. Sad to say, it's my gauge to figuring out the date for at least the first two weeks of the month.
I wear no watch with the date, have no calendars nearby and write it at work about fifty times a day. Even at my desk at work, I've got to twist to see the clock and stretch to see my tiny-free-from-some-pharmaceutical-company calendar behind my computer. For me time, dates and most things factual aren't as important as the abstract, the ideas, the feelings we have and the thoughts that occupy our minds. This is what I try to pay attention to. Most other things in life are necessary evils to me. This probably explains why history and math were my worst subjects.
This March is unique for me. This month presents me with a renewed sense of interest in my book. And this is huge because for a while it felt as important to me as where it stood, on the shelf, collecting dust and in the back of my mind.
Let me explain my digression from the book, as there are several reasons for this. I just began a new job as a medical secretary (no experience, had no clue what I was doing). So I have been very focused since just before Christmas to right about now when I feel I have the swing of things. It was necessary to keep my much needed job.
Also, last year you should know last year I came close to hospitalization because I was trying so hard to make this book successful. I finally pulled out of it with medication tweeks and a lot of love and support around me. A big help was finding a job. I felt I had a purpose once again. It's hard to feel good about yourself while sitting on the couch, replying to ads, day in day out. Mainly though, I was trying too hard to make this book and myself as a writer, successful. Which was a recipe for disaster.
Here I am though, thrilled to begin writing again. Spring is my most productive time. The time of year before summer is mania and the winter is depression. It's the perfect time to get going. I have to avoid too much pressure though, that's my biggest enemy.
So, here's to writing, or doing anything that makes you happy and gets you off your couch.
Happy (almost) spring. I'm thrilled the winter is almost gone.
peace,
wendy
